Make Me

Have you heard the song “Keep Making Me” by Sidewalk Prophets? The words of the song caught my ear a while back.  “Make me broken, so I can be healed. Cause I’m so calloused and now I can’t feel. I want to run to You with heart wide open. Make me broken.”

When’s the last time you asked God to ‘break’ you so He could do His work through you? Not just ask Him to use you, but really interrupt your life so He can be glorified. Is your walk with Him so calloused that He is just part of your life instead of your whole life. Asking to be broken isn’t easy.

A few weeks ago during a staff meeting we were discussing how much we grow when we are experiencing a trial in our life. I recall commenting, “Why is it still so hard to pray for those valleys in our life?” We all chuckled a bit and agreed even though we grow in those times, it is difficult to ask God to send ‘hard times’ our way.

In the following days after our discussion, I did ask God to send me a trial. The next week, as the staff was gathering around the table for our meeting, I received a phone call from my mom. She informed me that our family had a large valley to cross. My sister-in-law, had just been diagnosed with cancer. Because of a knee injury, an MRI and the sharp eye of a newly trained doctor, they ordered a second MRI. This one would go just a bit higher in her leg. What they thought was a small cyst was actually a large tumor in her femur. The cancer is considered a pediatric cancer. Rare after puberty and unheard of after giving birth; yet at 25 years old and a mother of 2 small children, there it was. While the next year is going to be rough, the medical staff is confident it was caught early and she will make a full recovery.

This isn’t necessarily my valley, but it does affect my family, so I guess it is our valley. I see my little brother stumbling over his own two feet, not sure what needed to be done next. My sister-in-laws changing appearance will soon reflect she is ill. I’ve already witnessed my beautiful 4 year old niece asking when her Mommy is going to be home again. My parents have been reminded what a 3 a.m. feeding is, when my adorable 2 ½ month old nephew needs a bottle in the middle of the night.

While we are only a few weeks into this journey, I already see our family unit coming together to take care of one another. I see God working on our differences, mending our relationships, and healing past hurts and failures. I feel my Father in Heaven teaching me and leading me through this valley; a valley that I feared so much on the decent, which really felt more like an abrupt thud at the bottom.

Thank you for breaking me Father. Thank you for making me cling to your promises more, each and every day. Father I don’t know your plans, but I am so glad I know you will help us through this valley and make us know you more.

“Til You are my one desire. ‘Til You are my one true love. ‘Till You are my breath, my everything. Lord, please keep making me.”

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  James 1:2-4

Father, Keep Making Me (Us)… Yours,  Becky


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