I had a friend when I was in high school that would often argue with me about God. His father was dying of cancer and he would say, “Come with me to the cancer ward in the hospital and see all the hurt and pain that is there and then tell me what kind of a God would allow something like that to happen.” Someone else told me more recently that it doesn’t matter how they live their life—good or bad—God seems to be out to get them either way.
Well, I want to tell you about my God. My God knew me and loved me before I was even born. In fact, before He even created the world, He had a plan for my life. He gave me a mom and dad that loved and cared for me and introduced me to Him. He gave me the gift of His creation – rain that brought puddles to jump in, animals that I loved and cared for, apple trees and watermelon and sunsets with all my favorite colors. He gave me a love of music. He gave me older brothers and sisters that showed me how I should live my life and also how I shouldn’t. He provided teachers at church and school that taught me about His goodness and grace.
As I grew, my God gave me the gift of being an Aunt. He shared in my delight at the thought of having a baby in the family that I could call ‘mine’; my nephew. He also allowed a young girl be angry at Him when that gift was taken away. My God sat next to an awkward kid in middle school. A girl that wasn’t sure of who she was or who she wanted to be; a girl with a big mouth and a short fuse; a girl who sometimes asked Him not to sit so close. Thankfully, my God continued with me to high school. He comforted me when a friend stood at the gates of heaven in her prom dress. He protected a young, inexperienced driver and allowed me to walk away from an overturned car. He smiled when I answered His knock at the door of my heart and He introduced me to a young Christian man with a flashy smile and a flashy car. He sealed a promise as we said ‘I do’.
My God has continued to walk beside me in my adult life. He has blessed my feeble attempts at marriage for more than twenty years. He has blessed me with three healthy, beautiful and talented children. He has helped me see that a perfect family only exists in a ‘Little House on the Prairie’. He has provided for every physical need along the way—in His perfect timing. He has stood beside me when I have laid loved ones to rest, when dreams have unraveled and when hope seemed to disappear.
My God has not made my life perfect. He has not kept me from the pain and troubles of this world. He does not “give me more than I can handle”, but helps me handle what life gives. He has given me the gift of tears, His big lap to curl up on and His shoulder to cry on. He understands when I am tired and afraid; when guilt floods my soul and when a mother feels like a failure. But through it all, He gives me His peace; a peace that surpasses all my understanding, and the promise that He is with me wherever I go and that one day I will be in a magnificent place that He has prepared just for me.
My God is the same… yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Erin Jacobsma