Taken Advantage Of

If you’re old enough to read this, then it’s quite likely you know what it feels like when someone takes advantage of you. And of course the ways of being taken advantage of are endless. An employer may take advantage of his employees and employees may take advantage of their employer. A husband may take advantage of his wife, a wife may take advantage of her kids, and the kids may take advantage of their father and the list goes on and on.

Before I share how I feel like I was taken advantage recently, I was thinking, how does a person really know when someone takes advantage of them? Is it only a matter of having a boundary violated? Or is it when you do something nice for someone and they don’t appreciate it? Or is it doing something nice for someone and they expect you to keep doing the nice thing over and over and over?

Several years ago I met a couple from a neighboring community that stopped by church for some financial assistance and so we helped them. It wasn’t long and they stopped again…and again…and so I didn’t feel right about having the church help them so frequently. However, my heart was tender towards their struggle so I started helping them from time to time. And yes it developed into the kind of relationship that the only time they wanted to visit with me was when they need more money.

Well, last week when we were on vacation they texted me and asked if I could help them—they even went as far as asking me to wire some money to them. I explained to them that I was cruising along the shoreline of Lake Superior and that I was nowhere near a bank and that they would have to wait until I returned.

Much to my surprise, I soon received a text with several naughty words and some other not so nice names in it, concluded by, “I hope you rot in hell.” After reflecting on the text and getting present to my level of anxiety, I tried hard not to give it the wrong meaning which would’ve led to having wrong emotions which may have led to wrong actions on my part. And so I simply responded, “You are welcome to meet me at church on Tuesday, and after you apologize for being so rude to me, I will give you the money you are asking for.”

So they stopped by Tuesday and promptly asked for the money. I responded by saying. “You said some pretty hurtful things to me; I will give you the money after you apologize.” Well the wife finally offered the kind of apology a brother makes to his sister after dunking her doll in the toilet only because his mom made him apologize. And so I gave them what they asked for, and away they went. I’ll admit it, I felt taken advantage of. And if that wasn’t enough, I got a text two days later from the husband asking if I would make his car payment for this month.

Although I didn’t respond to the text, I thought, “Sorry buddy, I’m done being taken advantage of by you, I’m pretty sure the bridge has been burned for good!!!”

That’s when the Spirit spoke to me; “Mike, you have probably never told me to burn in hell, but can you think of a time when I blessed you and you wasted it and then asked for more blessing. Or does it ever seem like the only time you want to talk is when you want something from me? Do you ever take advantage of me?” BUSTED!

I was trying to think of a Bible verse to end with that would help guide me in the future when I feel taken advantage of, but I couldn’t think of one. So if you have one in mind, please e-mail me at mike@arcluverne.org.

Showered with grace, Mike Altena

 

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